A Mother's Sacrifice  

This story is universal in that it describes a sacrifice that only a mother can make for her child. Different versions of this story can be traced back to many different cultures and countries lending it a universal appeal. This story is about an elementary school child whose name was Kishore.

Kishore was an only child of a very loving single mother. His mother doted on him and always expressed her gratitude to God for blessing her with a beautiful and intelligent son. However, Kishore did not like his mother. He was always embarrassed by her because she had only one eye. She took so much pride in raising him single-handedly and did not seem to care about doing whatever she needed to do to generate income so her son could go to school. She cleaned the homes of wealthy people, washed their clothes and dishes, and very proudly told others that Kishore was her son. But most of all, he hated her when she came to his school to inquire about his educational progress.

One such day when Kishore's mother visited his school, his classmates saw her from the window and started teasing him, "Hey Kishore, there's your one-eyed Mom who works at Black-Eyed Peas!" Kishore was crushed and told his mother that if she ever came to his school again, he would leave her and go away somewhere else. He said that he would rather be homeless than to have a one-eyed mother. His mother was heart-broken but never said anything or went to his school again. Kishore was so wrapped in his own misery that he could not perceive the deep sorrow in his mother's eyes. She held strong but when she thought she was alone, Kishore would catch her quietly sobbing. Even though he felt some guilt, he could not get himself to apologize or change his own behavior; if anything, he sarcastically thought that her tears were falling out of one eye.

Days turned into years and soon Kishore graduated from high school. He told his mother that he was waiting for this day so he could leave town, step out of her shadow, go to college in a big city that she did not need to know, and start his own life. His mother blessed him with a life of his dreams. Kishore left the village, went to college and worked unusually hard so he could have a good life after a quality education. As time passed, he graduated from college, found a very well-paying job, bought a house and found a life-partner whom he married. Within a few years, Kishore and his wife had two children. His dream was coming true but he did not want to think about his past.

One day Kishore was surprised by a knock on his door. He went to open the door and saw his mother. Instead of welcoming her, he asked her what she wanted. The mother said, "Beta, how are you? You look like you are very happy." Just then, one of Kishore's son's came to the door and gasped when he saw a woman with one eye. Kishore really got very angry. He said, "Wasn't it enough that you ruined my childhood with your scary looking eye? Are you going to do the same with my children? Don't you ever come back here or I will not hesitate to report you to the police for harassment." Kishore's mother left again without a word.

One day when Kishore was checking his mail, he saw a letter from his village. His first instinct was to rip it into pieces because it could only be from his mother. Then he noticed the official seal on the envelope and realized that it was from an attorney's office. He opened the envelope and found two separate letters. One was from an attorney stating that his mother had passed away and left him INR 50,000.00 (approximately $800.00). The second letter was from his mother addressed to him. With some reluctance and relief, Kishore unfolded the letter and started reading:

"Dear Son, I just wanted to answer a question that you had asked me when you were 8 years old about why I had only one eye that made you feel so embarrassed.

When you were 2 years old and playing in a dry patch of land where I was pulling off the weeds, you got hit by flying debris from an explosion at a construction site. You lost your eye. I could not bear the thought of watching you grow up with just one eye so I gave you mine. I was never upset at anything you said or did because I loved you for being my son. I know you hate me but I am your mother and will never hate you."

Moral:  Parents, particularly mothers, offer unconditional love to their children regardless of age and attributes.  We can never repay our mothers for all they do for us but if we can seek forgiveness when we hurt them, we will rid ourselves of a lot of guilt and pain.

Remedies for Sleep Disturbances in Children  

Sleep disturbances in young children can be very troubling and exhausting for parents. This small segment provides a few simple explanations for sleep disturbances and strategies for sleep management

Good or poor sleep can be a function of many different factors including biological, medical or psychological (e.g., the Circadian rhythm, epilepsy, sleeping terror, high anxiety) and behavioral (e.g., amount of sleep deprivation or satiation, inconsistent or non-existent bed-time routines). Often times, children's bed-time routine is connected with the times that their parents or siblings go to bed. It is important to create a bed-time routine for all children marked by clearly predictable pattern of expected behaviors.

Noted below are a few helpful strategies for creating a more consistent and predictable bed-time routine for children.

• Decide with your spouse a time that is agreeable for bed so both of you have similar expectations.
• Approximately 30-40 minutes before the scheduled bed-time, start easing out of activities that could increase the activity level of the children (e.g., watching TV, playing video games, running around the house chasing each other, or a similar stimulating activity).
• If children resist ending an enjoyable activity, give them a safety signal to help them to anticipate when to transition to a quiet activity. That is, set a timer to 15 minutes. Tell them that they have 15 minutes to complete the game.
• During those 15 minutes, prepare the bedroom for facilitating sleep by doing the following: (a) pull down the curtains on your child's bedroom windows to block out any type of light; (b) pull back the covers on the child's bed; (c) turn off all lights except a low voltage lamp on the dresser or night-stand; (d) lay out the child's pajamas on the bed, and (e) keep a choice of 2-3 books, music CDs or a cup of milk handy to ensure a smooth transition after the child chooses a preferred bedtime activity. It is generally a good idea to have a thick carpet to buffer the noise and a door that does not creak especially if the child is a light sleeper.
• When the timer goes off, tell the child to choose between one of 2-3 activities (e.g., drinking milk, listening to soft music or reading a bed-time story, all of which will help a child to relax) before heading to the bedroom. Providing a choice will increase the probability of compliance to parental request.
• Transition to the bedroom with the child where you have already pulled back the covers and laid out the pajamas on the bed. Your actions should also be relaxed, keeping instructions to a minimum, and maybe a soft hum as you help the child into the pajamas. These actions give a clear message to the child.
• When the child makes a choice, point to bed and wait for the child to get inside the covers. Then follow through with start the choice activity without delay.
• If the child falls asleep in the middle of the activity, continue for a few more minutes and ease out of the child's room very quietly. If the child is afraid of the dark, leave a night light in the room and the door partially shut.
• Follow the same routine every night including on the weekends. Model the behavior you expect of the child. If you want them to quiet down and transition into a bed-time routine, you too should turn off all electronic devices and start quiet activities yourself (e.g., a bath, reading a book). If you turn on the TV after the child falls asleep, use closed captions and keep down the volume.
• Praise the child the next morning for sleeping in his/her own bed and following the parent's request to start and bed-time routine.